Calling In Reinforcements Is A Sign Of Strength

Sometimes life goes down like a knackered lift. It’s ok to ask for help to get out of the basement.

We all know the feeling. Stress nicking at your heels, anxiety making your head spin, or just the world piling on a bit much. It happens to the best of us, but here’s what lots of people get back to front, the strong thing to do is to reach out for a hand. It takes guts to admit you need some help, but ask any strategist, leveraging the strength of others to back you up is the right call when you’re struggling.

It's not a sign of weakness, it's the smart move. Talking to a counsellor or therapist is like calling in some backup. We all need a bit of support now and again, and the trick is being wise enough to accept it, so don't be afraid to ask for help.

You're not alone!

Some Stuff About Anxiety

Anxiety has a way of spiraling out of control. The secret to managing it lies in recognising the cycle that feeds it – the continuous loop of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

Step 1: Anxious Thinking

Our anxiety typically begins with a trigger. This can be something in our environment, a physical sensation, or a simple worry that comes to mind. These triggers tend to ignite a pattern of negative, fearful, or catastrophic thinking. We might predict failure, assume the worst, or magnify the situation in our minds.

Step 2: Intense Emotions

Our anxious thoughts give rise to powerful emotions. Fear, unease, irritability, and feeling overwhelmed are common. These emotions reinforce our negative thoughts, creating the illusion that something terrible is truly about to happen.

Step 3: Reactions for Relief

Driven by the need to escape these unpleasant feelings, we engage in certain behaviors:

• Avoidance: We might skip activities, stay away from people, or put off tasks that trigger our anxiety.
• Safety Behaviours: We rely on subtle ways to manage the situation such as over-preparing, carrying reassuring objects, or always seeking validation.
• Negative coping: We might turn to substances or, isolate ourselves.
  
• The number one most common and exhausting reaction is to begin the cycle again with negative thoughts. This is one reason why anxiety is so horribly wearing. We end up in the classic "vicious cycle"

The Problem with Our Reactions

While some of these behaviours offer momentary relief, they ultimately fuel the anxiety cycle. Avoidance teaches our brain that we can't handle the situation and that it's inherently dangerous. Safety behaviours strengthen the belief that we can't cope. This reinforces our anxious thinking, making the cycle continue.

Breaking Free: Strategies and Support

Here's how to interrupt the anxiety cycle:

• Awareness is key: Start with noticing your triggers and typical thought patterns. A journal can be helpful here.
• Challenge your thoughts: Are your worries realistic? Are there alternative ways to view the situation? Could you tolerate some uncertainty?
• Face your fears: Begin with small steps. Gradual and repeated exposure to what makes you anxious weakens its power over time.
• Relaxation techniques: Breathing exercises, mindfulness meditation, and other mind-body practices can calm both emotional and physical anxiety symptoms.

Person-Centered Therapy

If anxiety feels overwhelming or significantly interferes with your life, Person-Centered Therapy offers excellent support. This approach creates a safe space to explore the root of your anxieties. Through genuine connection with a therapist, you can develop greater self-understanding, build inner resources, and learn to navigate your worries in a healthier way.

Remember: You're not alone in this. Understanding the anxiety cycle is the first step toward regaining control and experiencing more peace in your life

"He only does it for attention"

I use reframing all the time. I mean, Qui-Gon Jinn said "Our focus determines our reality" and who am I to dismiss a Jedi master? This week, someone hit me with the best bit of reframing I've heard in a long time. "Attention" vs "Connection"

We've learned to view "attention-seeking" negatively, but what if it speaks to something much deeper? The next time we find ourselves dismissing someone's actions as a grab for attention, perhaps we should rephrase: "they're doing it for connection."

As humans, we're wired for connection. It provides a sense of belonging, validation, and purpose. When we feel disconnected, our behavior can reflect that inner need. Attention-seeking, whether subtle or overt, could be a plea for someone to simply notice and acknowledge our existence.

Beyond the Label

The Hidden Language of Attention-Seeking

We've learned to view "attention-seeking" negatively, but what if it speaks to something much deeper? The next time we find ourselves dismissing someone's actions as a grab for attention, perhaps we should rephrase: "they're doing it for connection."

As humans, we're wired for connection. It provides a sense of belonging, validation, and purpose. When we feel disconnected, our behavior can reflect that inner need. Attention-seeking, whether subtle or overt, could be a plea for someone to simply notice and acknowledge our existence.

Instead of judgment, try compassion. Rather than seeing someone as attention-hungry, consider the ways they might feel unseen or unheard. Can we offer the connection they crave? A simple conversation, an act of kindness, or genuine interest can be surprisingly transformative.

Questions for Reflection

• Have I ever been labeled as attention-seeking? How did that make me feel?
• When I feel disconnected, how do my own actions change?
• How can I practice offering sincere connection to those around me?

Words carry weight. By shifting from "attention" to "connection," we open a doorway to understanding and empathy. Let's challenge our own perceptions and cultivate a world where everyone feels the essential connection they deserve.

Hashtag Mental Health

A recent study published in WIRED has raised serious concerns about the accuracy and safety of mental health advice found on TikTok. Researchers analysed 500 videos tagged with #mentalhealthtips and #mentalhealthadvice, and the results were alarming:

84% of videos were misleading
31% contained inaccurate information
14% included advice that could be actively harmful
Perhaps most worryingly, a staggering 91% of the people offering this advice had no relevant qualifications in mental health.

This highlights the dangers of relying on social media for mental health guidance. While TikTok can be a source of community and support, it's crucial to remember that not all information is created equal. Misleading or inaccurate advice can have serious consequences, potentially worsening existing conditions or delaying professional help.

If you're struggling with your mental health, please seek guidance from qualified professionals. A BACP-registered therapist or your GP can offer evidence-based support tailored to your individual needs. Remember, your mental well-being is too important to leave to chance.

*Source WIRED (2024). Psychiatrist Answers Mental Health Questions From Twitter | 

Beyond a Cuppa: Self-Care Isn't a Reward

 

We thrive on keeping busy. The endless hustle, the overflowing to-do lists, the pressure to be "on" all the time – it's exhausting. In this environment, it's easy to see breaks and downtime as something we have to earn, a reward for pushing ourselves to the brink. But true self-care is far more than just stopping work.

 

Breaks are essential, not earned. Our bodies and minds need rest and rejuvenation to function properly. Just as we need to refuel our cars with petrol, we need to recharge our batteries with regular breaks. These breaks don't have to be long or elaborate; even a few minutes of mindful breathing or a quick stretch can make a world of difference.

 

But self-care is about more than just taking breaks. It's about intentionally making time for activities that bring you joy and nourish your soul. It's about doing something just for you, and for no other reason than you fancy it and it makes you happy.

 

This might look different for everyone. For some, it might be curling up with a good book and a cuppa, having a session on the PlayStation, or going for a stroll in the countryside. For others, it might be pursuing a creative hobby, spending time with loved ones, or simply doing absolutely nothing at all. The key is to find activities that fill your cup and leave you feeling refreshed and energised.

 

Self-care isn't selfish. In fact, it's vital for our overall well-being. When we take care of ourselves, we're better able to show up for others and for the world around us. We're more patient, more understanding, and more resilient.

 

So next time you're feeling overwhelmed or burnt out, remember that self-care isn't a luxury. It's a necessity. Make time for activities that bring you joy, and don't feel guilty about it. It’s essential.